I needed to give myself a bit of a pep talk today, and so I was…
You may not know it, and it may be something you don’t want to think about, but National Grief Awareness Week starts today (2nd to the 8th December) . This year it feels particularly poignant, with 832,000 people dying with very little or no warning at all from Covid 19 and it’s complications.
This type of sudden loss can be utterly devastating, and traumatising for the friends, and loved ones who are left behind. Not to mention throwing their life and plans into disarray.
Anyone who follows my blog or social media will know that my mum died very suddenly on 9th February this year, and after nine months I’m very much in the beginning stages of the grieving process. Some days speaking to anyone is just too much, even to Mr Himself, while on other days I don’t want a second of silence to think.
Both of these feelings are totally usual after bereavement, and it genuinely takes as long as it takes to be able to manage more. I would urge you not to place any dates or expectations on when you need to be feeling ‘better’. For me there is no getting over, just a gradual acceptance.
As for the launch of my second book Laughing at Myself, the planned in person launch didn’t go ahead, as it was due to happen the day after the first lockdown started. And as for the online launch, it just hasn’t happened (as yet), that doesn’t mean I won’t get around to it, because I definitely will, but I’m waiting until I feel energised enough, and I’m not at that stage of the healing yet. Other than that I was suppose to start writing book three, which happened, but then ground to a halt.
You know what that’s all absolutely fine, it takes the time it takes, I will never have to go through watching my Mum die again, so that has to take priority over anything else – for now.
My biggest piece of advice should you wish to take it, is that if any one ‘helpfully’ suggests that you seem to be, or need to be ‘getting over it’ do feel free to turn and walk away. Avoid them and their calls until such time as they gain an ounce of common sense and compassion. Sadly there will always be those who are oblivious to other’s pain, and that is it perfectly natural and appropriate to experience pain.
If you want, or need to speak to anyone for support here are some contacts
Samaritans – confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair